Have you ever been in a situation that no matter what you do you are going to hurt someone close to you. I really hate these types of situations. All it does is cause problems. It seems like everything I say and do lately ends up hurting someone I care about. If it doesn't hurt them it hurts me and then affects them buy me hurting myself. I have a very heavy heart right now.

It feels like I can't breath and I don't want to live. If I'm not here then most of the problems will just deslove. If I just leave then everyone will go back to there old more "normal" ways of life. Maybe it would be better that way. Maybe I should just take off. Or maybe I should just become a hermit. Stay in my house. Go out for School and Work that's it. Just disassoiciate myself from everyone else.

I think I am starting to become depressed and I really don't want to fall into that cycle of events. I think I could be a very distructive depressed person. I don't want to do that to myself or anyone else yet I feel it starting. I can't help myself, I want to hide and cry and just be alone but not because I hate people or anything. I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore.

I don't know how to make this more obvious to you. I don't want to lose you but I feel like I already have and if I haven't I will becuase I can't stop hurting you. I don't mean to hurt you it just happens. I'm sorry.

I have a feeling I have said to much tonight. I think I have depressed and or worried enough of you now. I am glad I am at my parents house and none of you can get ahold of me about this. I am going to go make it go away now. Good night.
Erin

I am drinking Jamba Juice! Yum Yum. Ok I have my photo shoot scheduled now. It is a few weeks away. Maybe I'll put a pic of myself on here when they are developed. Probably not but maybe. I have to be at the place where I am getting them taken at 8:30 in the morning. I hope I'm not sleepy. I am going to have to sleep alot the night before. I have so much to do before the date gets here and it seems like it is flying buy. Crazy. I know that some of you are going to read this and not understand a thing I am talking about and that is ok. You obviously don't know me very well or you aren't sopposed to understand it. You deside which one it is for you.

Ok Well I guess I'll let you go now. Have fun everyone! Stay safe.
~~RED~~

Hi everyone. I missed you all I know that you didn't miss me but that's ok. I have been very busy these last few days. I am excited that this weekend is Easter. I love Easter. I am going home this Saturday cuase my Dad's birthday party is Saturday afternoon. Then I get to be home with my Family on Easter. I still have to go buy a new dress. I think I'll go friday cuase I don't have to work or go to school. Sweet!

I hope you all have a good day. I wish I could say more. I most likely will later just not now. I don't have time. So much to say so little time.

Love you all!
~Red~