Why do people stay in relationships because of fear? Fear is so crippling. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes just plain fear to be happy. If you live in so much fear how do you know if you are really happy or if you just convince yourself that you are happy so you don't have to "fear" anything. I guess I kinda of understand since I've become a mother I think my biggest fear is that I will somehow screw everything up, that I will be a bad mom, or that I will fail to do what is right for my daughter. I don't want to do anything that would cause my daughter to look back and say, why didn't you do this, or why didn't you do that? I would have had such a better life if you would have just....... (fill in the blank). Or why couldn't you have.......(fill in the blank). I think I haven't ever experienced fear like this. Looking from the outside, I guess people thought I wasn't ever afraid of anything, in actuality I was scared of not trying. Of not achiving whatever it was I thought I should try for. That was the biggest fear I had. NOW, I am scared on a daily basis and I hate that, I really really hate that. I can't wait until I have concord this latest fear. I think that is enough for now. Later all.

Erin